9/13/2007

Fashion Week My Ass


Here’s a question: Why is fashion week so painfully long? I just want my normal New York lifestyle to resume. During fashion week, all once-pleasant Manhattan activities are suddenly on steroids. And if it lasted just a one week as its title implies, maybe I could handle it, but fashion week is dangerously akin to Christmas – you see suicidally-annoying ads and promotional material for it ions ahead of time and then have to continue to watch the holiday deteriorate as people trees slowly end up in their driveway weeks after the fact. Why doesn’t the fashion industry fess up and just call this excuse for debauchery, ‘fashion mini-month’? At least then we’d know what we’re in for.

Needless to say, I’ve completely rejected this ‘fashion week’ excuse to party. In fact, if I see one more invitation to something with ‘fashion show,’ ‘fashion show after party’ or ‘open bar’ on it (this open bar shiznit is 96% of the time a LIE) I’m going to pull out my own expertly highlighted hair. Am I the only human being in New York who thinks fashion week is completely overrated? Am I the only one who doesn’t enjoy sitting through fashion shows in the first place, and then especially doesn’t enjoy having to pretend you liked the whacky feather contraption they body-glued to a six foot starving Croatian girl before shoving her down a runway? For me, the strangest fashion week phenomena is that I honestly don’t notice the extra influx of models and ‘fun’ that theoretically occurs. When I go out, everything looks the same. The amount of beautiful women is the same; the amount of male models in hoodies is the same. And I’m fine with that. New York doesn’t need fashion week to be more spectacular. This city’s so glittery you need industrial strength sunglasses on an average day. If anything, fashion week means there are so many parties occurring simultaneously that it actually diffuses the crowds (and by consequence, the party’s energy). People are frantic trying to hit up six events a night. Where’s the fun in that?

Here’s another mystery. How is it that people who don’t work in the fashion industry have fashion week parties? Does this make sense? For example, I recently received text invites that read:

“Come to Jay-Z’s fashion week party at the Inferno, going to be off the hook.”

“Mandy Moore’s fashion week blow out party tonight.”

What do these musical artists (if you can even qualify Many Moore as that) have to do with fashion week? Why can’t Jay-Z’s party just be Jay-Z’s party? Does no one pause to analyze how ridiculous this whole thing sounds? It’s like if you plaster the phrase ‘fashion week’ across everything it makes it ten times cooler. And let me be the first to tell you that this promise of extra hot women and free booze never pulls through.

So I’ve made it a mission this season to avoid all fashion week related activities. Sadly, a birthday party I attended last night also had a link on aSmallWorld announcing, ‘come celebrate fashion week.’ This made me want to sit under my bed sheets chewing my nails for the rest of the night, but out of respect for this friend (who was a huge hit at my birthday party) I went and got drunk in a bitter way. Can’t we just celebrate a dear friend’s annual existence without bringing the fashion week nonsense into it? It’s like they feared no one would show up unless those silly magic words were scribbled across the invitation.

My next biggest fear…doesn’t fashion week come every season? As in several times a year? And for a mini-month each time? Fashion Gods, help us.

12 comments:

Quin said...

dear mb,

you know i've liked you since we shared our curiosity over drinks in brown bags.

you know i've been away.

i'm coming home in 10 days.

however, feel free to come visit me, here in utah.

i assure you, with only malwart (as my son used to call it) and maurice (pronounced the american way) for our fashion guides, fashion week here is, well, low key.

so low key, it doesn't exist.

i did hear, however, that there is a sale on down at cal's western wear.

and cigarettes are $3.50 a pack.

love you,

quin

Sam Riffe said...

You're hilarious. By the way are you coming to my Fashion Week Blowout Birthday Party next week?

guestofaguest said...

couldn't agree with you more.
We are so exhausted with this fashion week, more than usual...we cant decide if it's because we are growing up or just getting better lives..

Ha Ha Sound said...

I avoid this silliness like the plague. Got invited to a few things, and didn't go to one.

As for why non-fashion people throw fashion week parties, I think it's same reason why Helio and Vitamin Water throw parties at Sundance. Because they're publicity seeking 'tards.

Confessions of Cleopantha said...

It's the same in Melbourne we have just had fashion week, then there is the 30 days of fashion, spring carnivale fashion, Melbourne cup fashions on the field did l say spring carnivale fashion.. It just keeps going on and on and on... All the way to Christmas then there is.... You get my drift. It almost like a compulsion blowout on fashion!

Kaia said...

At least you're in NY - can you imagine the pitiful attempt that SF makes for Fashion week. Really - it's truly astounding the degree of posing and posturing that goes on - for what - mediocre clothes from barely qualified 'designers'.

Sigh...I'll take a real fashion week over this faux bs any day.

modelbehavior said...

@ Kaia - There's a San Fran fashion week!?!?!?!? Really? No way!

Kaia said...

LOL really and truly and it is so sad. I went to the kick off party at the W and, well, that was enough for me. Didn't go to any of the 'shows'. It's like Fashion Week's bastard stepchild.

It totally reminds me of that movie where that bitchy girl goes 'stop trying to make 'fetch' happen' to her friend who was trying to create a new slang word. SF needs to stop trying to make fetch happen.

modelbehavior said...

@ Kaia - That movie's Mean Girls and I love that you referenced it. 'Bastard stepchild' - amazing!

NYCPonderings Chick said...

omg that girl in the picture really needs a ham on rye

Anonymous said...

During fashion week the most successful models, hair and make up artists, photographers, designers and A celebrities from around the world are in the city. They of course take the spotlight from any model who is not as young, famous or successful. New York during fashion week becomes an even more amazing city with models running around all over the city and its super exclusive unaccessible parties in private townhouse and penthouses where only friends and handpicked beautiful and powerful people have the chance to be part of it. If you don't get booked for the shows or don't get invited to the "in" parties for wherever reason, don't trash the best and hottest fashion event of the year.

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