Tonight the Starfish Greathearts foundation is hosting their annual fundraiser at 1Oak. The organization raises money for children who have been orphaned by HIV or AIDS in southern Africa, and I suggest anyone who is able should attend. Because let’s think about this logically, you can write a check to the charity of your choice at Christmas like we all do and spend the evening licking an envelope OR you can buy a ticket here, now, and spend the evening licking salt for tequila shots at the open bar.

Isn’t this a no-brainer?

Bar shots as a moral statement? You can be proud of the fact you’re a closet alcoholic when you’re drinking for charity!

This whole scenario brings me back to a party I attended during my New Years trip to Punta. Everyone had been festering about how to attend this absurdly exclusive party an Arab billionaire threw religiously every year on the same date at his ginormous ranch hidden miles down unpaved farm roads in San Carlos. This wasn’t the kind of party you could just attend, even if you had the genius to figure out where in the wilderness it was.

Example: You drove through three security check points before even getting out of your car. Before even seeing his house.

Everyone needed the correct yellow entrance bracelet and your car was searched and flagged.

The story of how we managed to get in sans bracelets remains its own separate saga. The point is that once I was enjoying a drink by the white tent and glowing pool, an Argentine friend came up to me and said:

“You know whose party this is, right?”

Me, snarfing my drink: “Yeah. The crazy rich Arab dude's.”

“Yeah but you know who he is, right? [Insert complex Saudi name].”

Me, fishing and devouring my champagne’s strawberry, “[Complex Saudi name], cool. Whatever.”

“His dad’s the largest arms dealer in the world. His family’s essentially funding the war in Darfur.”

Me: “So you’re telling me I’m drinking a blood champagne?”

My friend nodded sympathetically.

Later, I told the story to my girlfriends who got all riled up.

“If we’re in Punta next year we’re not coming to this party.” “We shouldn’t be supporting this kind of people.”

That’s when a male friend of ours chimed in, “Actually, you should drink up.”

Heads turned.

“What?” he continued. “Isn’t it better the guy’s money goes to peace and parties than war? We should take him for every cent he’s got.”

Me: “So you’re saying for every ten Martinis I drink that’s one less landmine he can afford to blow up an innocent child in Africa?”

“Yes!”

And a lot of drinking ensued.

The logic on this one was a little fuzzy. But the logic on the Starfish event is not. Help children orphaned by AIDS and if you haven’t checked out 1Oak yet, this is probably your best chance.